kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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