Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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