I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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