their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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