I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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