Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
