Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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