Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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