I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
