I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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