I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
