It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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