he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
