I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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