fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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