If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
