please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
