Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
