I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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