party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
