The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
