Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
