yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
