This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
