just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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