What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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