My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
