At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
