Sponge bath it is.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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