is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
