I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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