thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
