So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
