He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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