Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Send help, water and tortillas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
