I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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