I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
