Ambien. No doubt about it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
