her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bring me that man meat
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
