So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
