Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
