It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
