As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
