I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I understand Curling. That high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
