I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
too bad you live with your parents still
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Enjoy the penises
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
