i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
is it fun? or sober?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
