So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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