Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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