Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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