help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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