There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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