Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
