just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
